As Melhores de House nº 1

Vou colocar algumas das melhores tiradas do House por aqui, essa é a primeira parte.

Episódio Piloto

Humanity is overrated.

House: Far as I know she maybe running an meth lab out on her basement.
Dr. Foreman: She's a kindergarden teacher.
House: And if I was a kindergarden student I would trust her implicitly.


Dr. Cuddy: I was expecting you in my office 20 minutes ago.
House: That's odd, because I had no intentions of being in your office 20 minutes ago.

Oxygen is so important during those pre-pubescent years, don't you think?

You're comparing me to a Nazi? (admiringly) Nice . . .

House: Your wife is having an affair.
Orange-Colored Patient: What??
House: You're orange, you moron! It's one thing for you not to notice, but your wife hasn't picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors. She's just not paying attention. Oh, by the way, do you consume just ridiculous amounts of carrots and mega-dose vitamins? The carrots turn you yellow, the niacin turns you red. Get a set of fingerpaints and figure it out.

Orange-Colored Patien:: What are those?
House: Painkillers.
Orange-Colored Patient: Oh, for you, for your leg.
House: No, because they're yummy.

What would you prefer - a doctor who holds your hand while you die or who ignores you while you get better?

Episódio 1

Dr. Chase: It doesn't necessarily have to be that bad. If we exclude the night terrors it could be something systemic: his liver, kidneys, something outside the brain.
House: Yes, feel free to exclude any symptom if it makes your job easier.

Dan's Mother: How can you just sit there?
House: If I eat standing up, I spill.

House: Another reason I don't like meeting patients. If they don't know what you look like, they can't yell at you.

Cuddy: How's your hooker doing?
House: How sweet of you to ask. Funny story - she was going to be a hospital administrator, but she hated having to screw people like that.

Funsten: You've caused me considerable mental stress.
House: I certainly hope so.

House: Could we get off my screw-ups and focus on their's? Theirs is bigger.

House: It'd be like "The Boy Who Sued Wolf." You know, I bet we have a doctor here named ‘Wolf'. How perfect would that be – I think I'll page him.

Dr. Cameron: What about sex?
House: Well, it could get complicated. We work together, I'm older, but if you go for that kind of thing . . .
Dr. Cameron: I meant syphilis.
House: (winks) Nice cover.

House: Dr. Cuddy. Nice outfit.
Cuddy: What are you doing back here? Patient?
House: No, hooker. Went to my office instead of my home.

House: Who cares about McPhearson? I heard he tortures kittens.
Dr. Foreman: McDonald.
House: Oh, McDonald. Wonderful doctor - loves kittens.

Dr. Foreman: He probably just moved. Nobody stays perfectly still for their MRI.
House: Yeah, he probably got restless and shifted one hemisphere of his brain to a more comfortable position.

House: (Chase) knew that I saw something on the MRI, so he figured that I saw something and took a guess. Clever . . . but pathetic.

House: You hound me for my opinion and then you condemn my diagnosis. Cool.

House: When did my signature become so girly...?

House: Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-riding jeans are hot.

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